I can't sleep and it's been a while since I've made a meaningful post here.
So, the deal with this whole Evanescence thing which I thought was totally behind me.
When Fallen was first released, sure I liked it, and I was hanging around evboard, and the original evchat rooms, etc. It was simply music I enjoyed listening to.
Then Mitchell happened. Him taking his life the way he did just introduced me into this world where things weren't fair and their were no explanations or answers to questions which plagued my mind so much that I'd sleep a maximum of 3 or 4 hrs during some school nights. It was a side of life I didn't want anything to do with, and that's the time I really started to just immerse myself into Evanescence's music. It was the only music that mattered to me at the time. All other music seemed so frivolous and worthless.
Don't get me wrong, I was never that emo-gawth kid. I was still me, just a darker me, and Evanescence's music allowed me to indulge in that, and even as the months passed, I would still listen to it every day, numerous times.
Then eventually about 10 months after Mitchell died, I had come to terms with a lot of things. I was in no way over it, but things were better, and I slowly started to listen to Ev's music less and less. I felt I'd grown a lot as a person too.
Then of course, Jayden takes his life a year and a week after Mitchell in the exact same way, at the exact same place... and I pull out the Evanescence again. I hated the world more than ever during that week, and it was probably up there with the worst of all, because really, how could that happen twice to these 2 beautiful people, both who had amazing families.
I sorted myself out much quicker that time though, and made the conscious decision that I wasn't going to let it take anymore time from me. I faded away from the Evanescence music pretty fast that time around, too.
That was pretty much the last time I consistently listened to Evanescence. I really had just grown past it after that, and it was too much of a reminder when I was trying so hard to forget.
Then of course, last year they released the new album. I hated it at first... then after a few months of playing some songs every now and then, it grew on me a bit, but in no way was I dependent on it the way I was with the old music.
I bought the tickets to last night's concert basically for nostalgia's sake, and well, let's be honest, you take what you can get in Perth. What I wasn't prepared for was the rush of emotion of hearing them sing all of these songs live. Particularly the old Fallen songs that have always held so much meaning to me, but even the songs from the new album that I don't know extremely well, they still moved me a lot.
The point I'm eventually getting to, is that... yes I went totally fangirl when I met Amy. Standing in front of this person whose voice sang through my earphones in the the most excruciatingly painful times of my life, my first words while she was signing my booklet may have been the lamest, "Thank you so much," but it's the most meaningful thing I could've said. Yes I'm aware she was problly thinking "It's just an autograph..." but I couldn't care less. I got to say Thank You. Current Mood: content